Monday, August 4, 2014

Beer ni bora!!

It is a warm Friday night. It was very hot during the day and I am grateful for the well-chilled Nile Gold provided by the dreadlocked waiter at Old Timers' bar. It is actually difficult to take the bottle off my lips as the beer tastes sooo gooood. 3 bottles later in walk these 3 skinny ladies in matching green outfits. One of them has a behind that cannot be real for sure. It has only been 3 bottles of Nile Gold so I cannot be seeing things yet.

Probably because I am staring so hard at her, she approaches just as I open a fresh Nile Gold. 

The conversation:
She says: Hi
He says: Well hello!
She says: My name is Heve and I wanted to talk to you about Heineken
He says: Very good Heve please go ahead
She says: Heineken is a very tasty international beer that will apply to your sense of style If you drink it you will feel international and tonight we have it at the promotional price of only 6k.
He says: (while looking around for hidden cameras because this is obviously a prank) but Heve, please explain to me why I would leave my perfectly chilled Malt sold at 4k and buy your pale lager at 6k?
She says: (obviously stunned by my technical approach, resorts to smiling and brushing the add-on to my leg and in so doing confirming to me that it is an add-on) Heineken is international and once you take it, you will realize that Nile Gold is so local
(so much for my vaunted sense of style then)
He says: I am sorry Heve, but I only drink Malts and your add-on bum is crooked. Are you lame? May be you should get rid of your international bum and foreign name and try a local home grown variety. I personally find them a lot more attractive.
She says: (Walks quickly to the bathroom to adjust add-on)
He says: Beer ni bora.

These Heineken people should really give these ladies better ammunition.  Who cares about feeling international when drinking beer? Certainly not the patrons of Old Timers' bar. Who is going to abandon the beer he loves and pay and extra 2k for a beer whose morning after he is not sure about? And skimpily clad ladies with artificial appendages will not make me give up my trusted malt for Heineken.